Parenting 2015:

Mission:

Build a solid well-founded Muslim generation that is well suited to carry the flag of Islam and deal with the world around during their lifetime from now (201x) through (209x).

Can we predict the role that these children will have to play or the environment/system/society they will be dealing with?  We can only guess…

(Flu shot was a prediction that failed to work this year…)

The five W’s and one H

Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How.

· Who: The Parents (the responsible party) – Others (contribute +/- but are not accountable)

· What: Seed and nurture, educate and guide, love and support, provide and discipline. Teach them Life Skills: Knowledge, Skills, Management, and Leadership.

· When: 3 main phases (0-7), (7-14), (14-21)

· Where: Home, Masjid, School, Everywhere else

· Why: Religious obligation and responsibility

· How: The difficult part with intricate detail

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Let us start with WHO:

Who: The Parents (the responsible party) – Others (contribute +/- but are not accountable)

The PARENTS (Husband and Wife):

Ar-Rum (The Romans)[30:21]

30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy (and harmony) between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

· إن جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه

· تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك:

· دين (منهاج الحياة) =faith, attitude, values & character

Marriage:

An-Nisa (The Women)[4:21]

4:21 they have Taken from you a solemn covenant?

· Make each other better – union that integrates and complements è comprehensive and holistic unit that can combat and deal with all life aspects… Forms the strong building block of society.

· Strength to stay intact and strength to adhere to the rest of the building.  Supports and complements what is underneath and responsible for carrying the load of the upper.

· 1+1 > 2 make each other better emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, socially, productivity…

· Support each other to reach this height… emotional needs and feelings

· Emotional scars and physical scars

مودة ورحمة – unlimited love and care – حب في الله وليس حب انتفاع ومصالح وخدمات متبادلة – consumer love

True love well felt and well expressed verbally, physically, gifts, care, and even services

Dwell in tranquility… Dwelling = home = favorite place of comfort and rest.  The place where you take off the formal and enjoy being at your ease.  The place where you take off your shoes and walk barefooted.  The place of warmth, love, care, and tenderness.

Al-Baqara (The Cow) [2:187]

2:187 …. They are your garments and you are their garments.

The divine example from Allah: Garments = covers, shields, protects, beatifies, comforts, warms, best appearance (not just a superficial and fake, but in essence and substance).  Bring out the best of each other.

Just as garments are close to our bodies so is the husband and wife closeness. Close enough to each other’s faults and private weaknesses.  Garments maintains our privacies so should the husband and wife to each other in maintaining each other’s privacies and secrets as well as that of their private life.

The OTHERS (Family, Friends, Teachers and School mates, Neighbors, etc):

It is the responsibility of the parents to monitor, “control”, and remedy the influence and contributions of all “others”.

Now, let us jump to WHERE which will include the influence and contributions of the “others”

	Hrs/wk	Activity	Quality time
Home	30	Includes eating, doing homework, time alone, entertainment (TV and Games)	?
School	30		?
Masjid	0-1	Doing what? إنما يأكل الذئب من الغنم القاصية	?
Other 1	10	Family/Muslim Community: Who, Where, and doing What?	?
Other 2	10	Other friends and activities: Who, Where, and doing What?	?